Empty

Emptiness is what I felt now . Moving in a way I don't know where. To go with the flow. . To work yes. To think of the future is not for me. I had allow all this to happen to me. In fact I wonder why am I still breathing each day as I woke up to another day. By right. I do not deserve to even be living , I should have work like a slaves and got my life wasted. . . Perhaps I should been part of anyone . I should never existed. I Should just erased from everyone life. The hurt I keep to myself, the smiles of pretense to let people know I am alright. Yeah I still do my work . I still live. Yet only with a direction to escape my pain my reality. When think of it, what could stop it. Seriously only when I stop breathing that everyone will stop hurting, worrying and caring. Yet God didn't bring along on that Saturday, He left me alive... For what???!!! coming back is the same after all.. Waking up each day with nothing much to do except wondering when I get back to my hectic work life.. Why am I Here.? How much longer I need to live a life pf pretense? I am a just a doll....do not tell me what to do.. stop questioning!