acceptance

today was a raining day. cool at night and makes me wanted so much to crawl under my comforter and reading my favorite book listening to the rain drop. I am probably lucky that I have not much work on hands now, as I finished mostly of it. I am waiting back to go back my home town and curl up in my the bedroom i grew up since form 3 , slept and slept until i got used to the realities that I am living in. The past few months has been like a dream come true.. I 've chosen to walk a different path, however not all trodden path are acceptable.
Deep down, i know and I knew somehow waiting for a miracle is just hopeless. Too many hurts, too many pains and people i love and adore will get hurt. This is not even a show... this is not even a fairy tale. this is a reality that everything is not right. When nothing is right, what can make it right? friendship or family?............
Today I heard for the so many time.... :saying I am soft hearted. I am gullible and I believe too easily. My weaknesses are also my strength. I knew far too many people will use my weaknesses as their strengths.

Things sure have change now. Reverting back to the time when I was single and spent most of my time with work work and students. It's back to serenity..... again. Future ? ..blend in with the pain.

Have I change?... Indeed I change. I expect less now...the smiles. He took it, the trust which I gave has been shattered like glass. putting it back the pieces will only hurt and cut the more . ..
I 've experienced far too much pain . This pain is the pain i;m bound to experience as I had chose it in the first place. work work work.. where' were you when I need you the most? My family and friends were there.. Part of the Juayn has died.

Now is the beginning of something . ... what is the word? I don't know maybe you filled it in for me.

Good night .