May I?

Getting boring is something I hate  of myself. I knew myself far too well that I'll get bored once I got used to something. I love constant challenges ..... because it kept me going.

i need the responses and feedback that i did well at the end of the day, and this will continue to motivate me to strive further. it excites me sometimes. Days sometimes seem dull... boring and not even excited.

It's the routine. It's meaningless too because I asked myself these questions all the time.

Why work so hard?

For who?

For the future?

Preparation for tough times?

Life will only get harder...?

I reflect back sometimes despite working so hard, it's the loneliness that kept knocking on my door.

I am not hesitant to travel back to my hometown all the time...my work needs my time. I do appreciate my parents coming down once in a while to see me.

I will take more time to go back and spent time with my family.

I will... I will and I willl.... but sometimes to choose between the priorities?  It's difficult.

At times I do felt exhausted from work and work alone.

To be married to my work... or be so caught up with my work is not really my option.

But to be caught up with my work is a better way than spending my time doing nothing.

It's also an idea to channel my busyness to my loneliness.. 

Sometimes for once I want to fall in love,

Go for a holidays. , spending my days off cooking for my families....Playing my basketball until i am so wasted..... have a great laugh and conversations with friends and strangers.... giving my time and energy to charities...just once in a while, will be good enough for it. May i have this? is it too much to ask?