today is Saturday and a Public holiday. I had an interview today in jaya 1.. and i came for the scheduled interview but was not suitable for the job. but i was given something else.. referred me to TOC and i went to ss 19 for the unexpected interview.
I was offered a marketing /sales position which i find it fun... but on the other hand ( as life is not a bed of roses) i need to travel to 80 schools (solo) in Klang valley to create awareness, campaign, prospecting and hunt down prospective students for TOC. Basically i need to work all by myself (ONE MAN SHOW)... it's just that i hate the idea of moving to different locations all the time... which i know that i may give up sooner (max 3 months). But the group of people that i am dealing with are parents, teachers, principals and again students :-) [BUT I AM Definitely turning DOWN the job]. i believe there are better offers out there...
After that in the evening i went to church with angel and cheehwei. Guess what... next week preaching will be on sexuality. A pastor from gay turned straight and married. Eye opening..After church we had dinner.. but we were very quiet..not the usual us. I don't have mood to even eat anything....because i was confused again of what i want... and i decided to turn down the offer. x bother calling me for second interview as i believed i can find better than this one. (HOPEFULLY!!)
I sent them back to their respective towers after dinner and drove back to my own safe haven. While i was driving back... i really wanted to talk to someone. Someone that can tell me what is right from wrong.Someone when he said something even just a line... that would bring a lot of difference in my life. Someone~~: even by the thoughts of him bring tears to my eyes.
He brought me into this world, raised ,feed and taught me the values of life, education and peoples. He is always the understanding one...
But then how could i approach him ... and say:
What is life, huh... and what is dream?
Why do i went to university for in the first place?
What do you expect of me?
DO i make you proud?
What can you see in me that i don't see? What is important ... what matters? How to know if i make the right choice? and how did you manage to achieve all these... Pa..?
Tell me..
But then...Will it break your heart if i were to confront you with these...?
I hate this.
I hate the fact I may break your heart when i tell you these...
I hate that i made you worried cause I am worried that I am not moving anyway from here... i am afraid. YES I DAMN ADMIT IT.
... it crush my heart ... it does and always will!
Thought of the day: JUAYN!! your English ahh....haih.. (PS: I know, therefore I accept and still learning to speak properly)
5 comments:
It's every child's dream and hope to please their parents, and to make them proud. But at the same time, parents understand us more than we think they do...
Talk to ur Pappy, I am sure he'll say some encouraging words to you..
Don't feel rejected, dejected, condemned... Remember, NO CONDEMNATION!
And yes, your English is turning upside down, and yes, you are definitely learning fast... :)
sobs sobs.. i am still learning la.
Juayn dear. we were quiet, yes, unsual. I felt that too, three of us, each of us have different big things on our mind which needs to be solved and thought over. This time around, nobody can turn back time and be as how we used to be even weeks ago. Everything's changed.for better or worse, we need to judge that ourselves.pray hard together -_-
baby, it is not the end of the road.. it is just the beginning..
don't give up easily k. not u, not me, not anyone among us.
No point looking back, look forward, only turn back to reminisce the good and bad times we had, and learn from it.. But the most important part now is to look FORWARD. Little Rabbit said it right, can't turn back time... Pray! :)
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