cell.

yesterday was my second time in cell, i was actually very tired from my performance - children's play performance. the performance was accessed by lecturer ... therefore because i squeeze every bit of my energy into the play, i was super tired....yeah.... really tired . but then again i told myself . i must go to cell cause i want to learn.

very funny though ... first time in cell... i discovered something.
haha someone with the same name as i am. "no lah, not Juayn la, it was Jwen - and is a HE"
well never realised that until now... the pronunciation is almost the same.

so actually i don't feel like going to cell yesterday, partly because i am tired,second i want to sleep already, third i don't want to fall asleep while listening, and lastly because eh.. i am very new as a Christian and i really don't know what i am supposed to do. But in the end i went. i trust God... he knows what is best for me . and somemore... i will be in PJ for about 2 months more... i mean. if i am lucky and God's willing.. i may still attend cell even i went back to Kajang. so while i am here... i make it a commitment to attend cell.

Learnt many things in cell though, and i feel like the i am the only one listening.... or that is just what i felt lor. i am new, so i need to learn. Simple as that.

cell starts with icebreaking session - hmmm very good for me. because i don't know much people there, then because people are reluctant to speak when they are in an ackward situation. i don't know who are you, you don't know me . what to talk about. no linkers...no connection... no relationship.

Ok enough of that, then we moved on to celebration ... something like celebration prayers: singing...
i loved this. with music it is always the best.

a part of a song that i really like this week
" he knows my name
he knows my every thought,
he sees each tears that falls,
and hears me when i call "

Wonderful. very simple. and you know He knows you what you are at, doing, thinking and so forth.

Oh ya... something about praying.
Pray comes in 4 forms. Scripture, spontaneous, action and communication. [correct me if i am wrong. i don't attend youth service , i attend adult service]
i rank myself in spontaneous and communication lor.

Cell and cell mates reminds me to talk to God all the time... praying i mean. but ... i don't pray to God all the time neh.
i am a person that i rarely think of God when i am in trouble, cause i believed in ability and independancy. what i mean is, i have faith in him, but that does not mean i want HIM to take care of my every problems . it's a 50 50 things for me.

Do you think it is bad? If God knows what kind of person I am... he should be alright with what i am, right...?
Anyway.... i will do try to pray to him everyday. and also maybe I am fasting from SHOPPING OR FROM USING CREDIT CARD.
i am not very good with money... and super spend thrifter. ish.. i hate this part of me.

AND IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND....
PLS DO REMIND ME NOT TO SPEND MONEY USING CREDIT CARD WHEN I GO SHOPPING OR ANYWHERE WITH YOU PEOPLE. EXCEPT.. WHEN I GO PUMP PETROL.


AMEN.